Genesis 50:20, English Standard Version

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today”

Go and tell, I will give it a go!

Do you do a word for the year? Our church does which this year is go and tell, and often times I hear talk amongst our friends and spiritual family of a word the Lord gave them. I didn’t really seek one out if I am being honest. Until one day the Lord asked me what it looks like to live radically for Him as I was driving down the road. Radical. It burned in my soul. I knew that it was what the Lord was calling me to this year. What He is calling the church to this year.

I laughed because my husband was stepping out into a new adventure for work, and it has felt “radical”. I truly felt it was radical that he was leaving his amazing job to step out in faith on a project that the Lord so clearly called him too but unsure of what was to follow. Then later in that same week I walk into my workplace only to be told that a corporate is coming in and remodeling staffing and my head is on the chopping block. Encouraged to find something because my role there would eventually be let go.

It felt like the wind was taken out of my sails as just a few weeks prior talk of expansion and growth filled the building. I have been reflecting on my role there and just soaking in the call to the substance use treatment field and what the Lord has done. First of all, the people I work with changed my literal life by showing me grit, grace, hope, and victory. This job was exactly where I was meant to be for this season, and I don’t doubt that. But can I share that what rocked me to my core was the heart break I have seen and yet God continued to show Himself to me. When a young pregnant mother sat across my desk and poured her heart out to me about wanting to get well and raise this baby in her womb. The hope I saw in her eyes. Only to be found dead on the side of the road within six months. Or the patient who just sparked joy to other patients and staff and anytime the guitar would come out you had seen everyone singing along in the hallway. Then to see the dope sickness overtake them and they leave only to hear they passed away a couple days later from an overdose. That’s the type of stuff that will drop you to your knees. And on my knees is where I have found the comfort of the Holy Spirit and the strength to keep loving and caring for people in this field. Also working alongside so many who are true warriors for recovery because of the impact substance use and overdose has had on their own lives, whew! There is something about working in substance that I get to see the worst heartbreak and also the greatest of all victories. The type of work that just makes you feel like you are doing the work of Jesus. Oh, when you see the victories and miracles.

So Radical. What I thought would be fun and exciting. Has brought me to my knees again. Surrendering to His will. I don’t know what’s next for me as a nurse practitioner. But what I do know is I serve a radical and mighty God. Who has never failed me, and I know He won’t for whatever comes next. He didn’t fail me when I was just a young girl being raised by a young girl herself. He didn’t fail me when I made life decisions without having a clue what I was doing. He didn’t fail me when my marriage was broken and nearly beyond repair. He didn’t fail me as we brought these sweet babies into the world. He didn’t fail me when I sat in that court room waiting to hear that our sweet boy was forever ours. He didn’t fail me when He called me to this job, and I can tell you He won’t fail me for what’s coming. I can tell you that without a doubt.

Why share on social media? If I didn’t share my greatest hope and no one around you was speaking the name of the Lord, how would you know how radical He is? That He can bring you through anything, even that which is unexpected. Come sit at my table and let’s talk about the radical beautiful things the Lord has for you. He makes beautiful things. That’s the work of His hands. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Genesis 50:20, ESV) Live radically loving and trusting Him my friends.

If you made it all the way through, I typed this up over a month ago and went back and forth on sharing it. Today I turned in my badge and laptop to a job I loved so much with people I loved so much. I am here to tell you; He didn’t fail me. The time to move on has come and I have no doubt He has me exactly where He intends for this season of my life. Lord, I want my eternal treasure to be from a life of absolute obedience to You. Only You.