My favorite Bible verse is 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV), “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” If you ever read my testimony or if you have ever thirsted for love in your life but found that you were never able to find it, then you may understand what I am talking about. Love is one of the most important aspects of living and the more you seek, the more control it has over you. 

Have you ever found yourself with this deceiving thought: I am going to control everything I love, and everyone I love. When you have a desire to control the things you love, every decision you make and every action you take is focused on carrying that thought out. You begin micromanaging everything. If there is anything that is not happening according to your desire or feels unsettled in your heart, the fear begins to be crippling. You will find that you begin to manipulate situations because your feelings are manipulating you. You have no freedom and you experience intense unrest. You take that feeling with you everywhere you go, your work, your friendship, and especially your marriage and your family.

I have been there… the fear of abandonment traumatized me. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing what I wanted and who I wanted. My heart would scream asking why they can’t simply love me! I began to wonder if I was truly undeserving of love.

Is this what love should truly be like?

This is what love is:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (! Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV)

The day I met Jesus, I found Love! I fell in love with Him and I learned Love was never a thing but a person. Love is not what you can have, but what you can give. (John 3:16) Love is patient even in the valley of the shadow of death (longsuffering). Love is friendly, considering, and generous (Kind). Love does not seek self-gain (envy, boast, proud, dishonor others, self-seeking, easily angered) but humility. Love is forgiveness (keep no record of wrongs). Love is truth (does not delight in all kinds of evil thought or act but rejoices with truth). Love bears all things (in the past), hopes all things (in the future), and endures all things (in the present). His forgiveness is once and for all (Love never fails)!

Are you carrying on your old perspective into your marriage? (like who you were or what you desired)? It’s time for you to seek the One true Love and allow His love to envelop you so that you can learn to love like Him. Love (Jesus) never fails!