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Working Through Conflict

Christopher Brock

February 21, 2025

Conflict is an inevitable part of marriage. Two individuals with different personalities, experiences, and perspectives will occasionally disagree. However, conflict doesn’t have to harm a relationship. For Christian couples, resolving conflicts provides an opportunity to strengthen their bond, grow in faith, and reflect Christ’s love. Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV) encourages us to approach relationships "with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." By applying Biblical principles, husbands and wives can navigate disagreements with grace and unity.

 

The first step to resolving conflict is to approach it with humility. James 1:19 (NIV) reminds us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." Instead of focusing on winning the argument, prioritize understanding your spouse’s perspective. Active listening, where each person feels heard and validated, can diffuse tension and open the door for meaningful dialogue. Remember, the goal is not to "win" but to honor God by seeking reconciliation and unity.

 

Prayer is also essential in resolving marital conflicts. Bringing disagreements before God invites His wisdom and peace into the situation. Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) reminds us to "present your requests to God" and promises that His peace will guard our hearts and minds. Couples can pray together, asking for clarity, patience, and a spirit of forgiveness. Prayer shifts the focus from the problem to God’s power, fostering a sense of partnership rather than opposition.

 

Another critical component is practicing forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 (NIV) commands, "Bear with each other and forgive one another... Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Holding onto past offenses only deepens resentment and widens the gap between spouses. True forgiveness requires letting go of bitterness and choosing to extend grace, even when it’s difficult. This doesn’t mean ignoring issues but rather addressing them with a heart of compassion and a willingness to move forward together.

 

Finally, remember that resolving conflicts is an ongoing process that requires effort and commitment. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) teaches, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Commit to communicating with kindness and respect, even in moments of frustration. Seek wise counsel when needed, whether from a trusted mentor, pastor, or Christian counselor. With God at the center, conflicts become opportunities for growth, allowing couples to deepen their love and strengthen their marriage as a reflection of Christ’s relationship with His church.

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